He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
