I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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