i don't plan on having that self control this summer
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
