I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I need to align my fucking chakras
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
