So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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