Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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