Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
