I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
