i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
