my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
