This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
