I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Randomize
