It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
