Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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