He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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