but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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