Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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