she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
