i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
