My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Randomize
