I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
