My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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