did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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