I just made out with a guy for $7.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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