I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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