i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
My pussy is not your playground.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
