There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
