I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
