im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
no more duck duck goose at the bar
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
A+ Viking dick
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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