Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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