How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
