i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
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