I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
