I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
if only i could text you this smell
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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