Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
