I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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