In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
he shaved USA in his pubs
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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