I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
You pole danced in your parka.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
