the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
you traded sex for a burrito?
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
