so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
