Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
