It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
