We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
