She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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