the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
