It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
