I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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