tell your sister to shave her snatch
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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