Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
