It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
