i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
