Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
