she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
